Bondmates and Soulmates
by Tavae Themisal
Summary: So it has begun. The not so triangle and the very obvious love of two. A friend who will always be there. And one little girl stuck in the middle of it all...
1. Obligatory Disclaimer

Obligatory Disclaimer

I do not own any of the characters in the first part of this story, the entire Skywalker line and their friends belong to Master Lucas. Some of the lines of dialogue belong to the original author's of the NJO books, I just put them in because this story runs intertwined with theirs and I will not change what has already been said.

Read and review. I will not ask for gentleness, for how is a writer to get better if they do not find out their faults?

I will update this every once and a while. I don't really care to put to many flow interrupters in my story so any acknowledgements that need to be made will be done here:

First off many thanx to my sis, girl you're not only my editor but also one of the best friends I could ever have. And if I ever get the guts to try writing for cash, you'll be one of the first to know.

Next, thanx to Jysella. I never expected a review so fast and I really appreciate that.

Well here we are again. No apologies or excuses. This I will say though. I should be preparing for the test of a lifetime as I write these chapters.

Now to delve off into the realms of alternate universes. I usually wouldn't, but I just had a stroke of genius, or at least I see it that way, as to how to continue the story. I would like to thank Spaced Out Anna for my thought. Ripples was wonderful, though I still think the spacing could use work, and I have read it a couple times already. Looking to find the time again to do so. The thought of Tahiri and...well we'll leave the name out for now...at first was like a slap in the face, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. They are kindred souls now, so to speak. Enough blabber, on with the show...

16 Jan… For those who are wondering what happened here. 1. Small case of the dreaded writer's block. 2. A long seperation from various references, including the Swarm War books. Yes that will be wound into this too. 3. Too much school work. I promise that I will get another chapter out, may not be until March but I will do it.

6 Feb… hey look at that. The blockage cleared up enough to get 2, yes 2 chapters out and six is in the works faithful readers. But I really need to hunker down on the school work. I present in 10 days I really dislike public speaking!


	2. Prelude: Prologue 1: Loss

            Tahiri grudgingly helped Tekli. She knew Anakin and the healer were correct, but it was also very unfair. Unfair in the sense that they'd been through so much together. Before this damnable war, he had saved her so many times. _'Shoot I feel obligated to save him,' she thought with a sigh.  
  
            She continued levitating Tesar and Tekli as the Chadra-fan worked on the Barabel. She was attempting to move them to a place farther from the fighting and closer to an escape route.  
  
            As Tesar was lowered to the coral floor, she felt it. _'Oh Force, NO!' _she screamed silently. She did not have to turn to see the Force glow. She knew it was Anakin. They had been together too long and had too close a connection for her not to recognize his Force presence.  
  
            The tears came, unbidden and silent. She knew she should have gone with him. But he had insisted, as if he knew this would be the outcome. _~Damn you, Anakin Solo! ~ _She inadvertently sent as she opened their link.  
  
            She sent near all she had to aid him, but it was already too late. As her mind melded with his, she felt a ghostly warm whisper across her lips. When the all too brief contact ended, something seemed to red to pieces within, bringing more tears to her eyes.  
  
            A hand on her shoulder startled her, causing her to inhale for the first time in several minutes. She turned her head to see Tesar had awakened.  
  
            "The time will be later," he said to her, "Thiz one thankz you."  
  
            She nodded an affirmative. He was right. Grieving would come later. Now they had their hands full getting off the worldship with their lives intact. Anakin's sacrifice would mean nothing otherwise.  
  
            "Thiz one will go help the otherz while you aszure the pazzage over there iz zafe for our ezcape."  
  
            Tekli watched as Tahiri nodded another acknowledgement and motioned for her to follow. The healer knew something had happened to her blonde friend when Anakin died. They had all felt his passing, but there had been more between the two-a much deeper connection. She sensed that only time and love could heal the wound that Tahiri had sustained. Only time and love.  
  
            A thud bug landed in pieces close to the Chadra-fan, reminding her that now was not the time to be distracted by thoughts not aimed at escape and survival.  
  
            Tahiri whirled at the first sign of trouble. A feral light gleaming on her distorted features. Lightsaber at the ready, all her grief and anger there to be used, she caught a thud bud on the edge of her blade.  
  
            She did not attack, though, as her friends came rushing down the corridor- a number of Yuuzhan Vong on their heels. Instead, she did her best to deflect or destroy any stray bugs that came her way.  
  
            She was so wrapped up in defending the retreating group, she failed to notice when the last of the strike force passed her position. She also missed the cold accuracy with which Jaina set a thermal detonator. She wasn't even fazed when the roof caved in behind the bomb. She did not realize she was lost in her own world until Jacen's voice intruded.  
  
            "Tahiri."  
  
            In one smooth motion, she deactivated her blade, clipped it to her belt and turned to face him. He could see the pain and sorrow in her eyes. It was so much like his but seemed amplified ten times. He also noted a certain resignation in her, as if her life didn't matter anymore, but she could last log enough to see the others to safety.  
  
            The explosions from the other side of the downed ceiling grew louder and closer in those few second he took to analyze his comrade. Noting that none of the others had stopped log enough to do more than cause the cave in, he clamped his hand around her wrist and pulled the unmoving young woman behind him.  
  
            Once Jacen got her moving, she broke out of her stupor and began to move of her own accord. She could sense Jacen reaching out to Jaina to find the location of the others. Several twists and turns and a couple of lifts later they were unceremoniously yanked into a room.  
  
            She oriented herself quickly and found a corner where she could sit and sulk. She flopped into it, like a puppet with its strings cut, and brought her knees to her chest. Circling her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees and stared at the prisoner.  
  
            She knew that some of the others were watching her. Tekli for certain. Alema Half-heartedly, as were Ganner and Zekk, when they felt they could spare the attention from the others in the room. The team was coming apart at the seems and no one cared enough to stop it._ 'Anakin was the adhesive. He may have been second-guessing himself but, at least while he was here, there wasn't this chaos.' _She thought morosely.  
  
            Ever so slowly, she stretched out with her senses. She knew none of the others were keeping tabs on Tesar since he left to do reconnaissance. They were all going to make it out. She would not let another one die. His sacrifice would not be in vain. __'It's too bad none of us are doing anything.'  
  
            The bowl of bland pulp splattering on the wall roughly a meter from her head recalled her to the reality of the tiny room. A heated exchange between the remaining Solo children was nearing fistfight proportions when Tenel Ka jumped into the debate. Hot on her heels was Zekk to defuse the fight.  
  
            She had discerned the core of Jaina's thoughts, long before Lowie's "I found him growl," came over the comlink. Jaina spun on her heel, headed for the door.  
  
            Jacen caught her by the arm. "What are you doing?"  
  
            "Going after Anakin's body," Tahiri's flat, mechanical voice rang eerily in the silence giving everyone a start, "What do you think? They're not taking him anywhere." She rose and moved to Jaina's side, noting that Alema and even Zekk joined them._


	3. Prelude: Prologue 2: Purpose

  
            If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine she was back on Tatooine. The air here was just dry enough, but the notion was dispelled by the sickly sweet smell of death that barely underlied the vicinity of "Ash Corridor. "  
  
            At least that was what she was calling it. 'Not that a name really masters.' she thought as she joined Jaina in a stealthy, soot-covered approach to the edge of an observation balcony. The others did as well, better for them all to see what was going on below.  
              
            Tahiri did not, however, get close enough to see the game going on below nor the feathered creature practicing with Anakin's light saber. She instead hissed aloud, "So where's Anakin?"  
              
            Following Lowie's gesture toward the warren and a nearby airlock, she caught the explanation that there was a ship docked on the other side of the airlock.  
  
            She was the last to don her vacsuit and camouflage it. It wasn't because she was slow but because she needed something, anything to keep her busy so that reality did not have time to set in. Being still too long would let that happen, but as long as she had a task, a purpose she could let consume her it staved off the onset of having to deal.  
  
            She managed to drag the preparations out fifteen minutes. Nobody looked her way though, they were too consumed with watching a rituals below to notice. _' They probably wouldn't notice if I took my light saber and ...' she choked that thought down before finishing it. __' No they need me, not now, but maybe later ...'  
  
            This time Jaina's voice intruded on her line of thought "Blast them when Anakin's out where we can see him. " she, commed to the others. "We'll jump down and get him, then commandeer the shuttle, go find Jacen, and finish this thing. "  
  
            The young blond smiled her assent to Jaina after the last of the others commed in. She heard Alema call target on the officer. "I want the front," she stated blandly.  
  
            A strange feeling crept into Tahiri as Jaina gave her target and the order to fire so close together that she squeezed the trigger on her blaster before she could place it. In fact the sound of the blasters hadn't yet retreated from the area yet when she heard Jaina yelling at Zekk.  
  
            Ignoring the short-lived triad from the balcony, she jumped into action. Upon landing she caught sight of a warrior crouching Behind the body. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the weapon on his finger of the party she was the only one who knew that the spike held a venom that would melt the body in an instant, 'The blasted warrior is going to desecrate Anakin's remains.' she thought as she unconsciously growled in Yuuzhan Vong, "Coward!"  
  
            Just as the thought entered her head to charge the warrior, Jaina's voice rang in her ears. "You two secure the shuttle, Alema and I will get Anakin."  
  
            She obeyed instantly, not wanting to see his body destroyed. _'Maybe it isn't too late; it could be possible to call him back.' _The far fetched idea slithered existence and made her smile slightly. It was followed by the last report on his injuries that Tekli had given her...'severe internal bleeding that could be repaired with a healing trance coupled with bacta as it is now every repair that I make to him he reopens just as fast. If we do not get out of this dari'saht soon, he will not make it.' Looking to Lowie she said, "Let's get this over with."  
  
            He Growled a short reply, and activated the airlock next to him. There was a moment of surprise where they took out three warriors. Another's split second of indecision brought down the fourth.  
  
            Form somewhere in Tahiri's mind came the derisive thought, 'Unseasoned and under trained, not worthy of an honorable death.' Out of hyperspeed hot on that thought's heels came the afterthought, _'Force, not NOW!'_  
  
            The remaining two guards leapt off the ramp and charged. A hail of thud bugs preceding them.  
  
            A fanatical gleam glinted briefly in Tahiri's eye as she picked each of the projectiles off. This did not go unnoticed by the warrior on her. It caused him to hesitate briefly in front of Tahiri's domain scarred face.  
  
            The hesitation nearly cost him his head. As it was he barely got his ampistaff up in time to deflect the blow. The staff was neatly sliced in two and his arm was severed at the elbow.  
  
            Tahiri wasted no time in redirecting her blade to cut a deep gash in his side. She deftly thumbed the blade off, made a slight adjustment to the angle of the handle and reactivated it. Her aim was flawless. The blade extended right through the enemy's eye socket.  
  
            "Rrrg?" Lowie inquired. Pointing to her wound.  
  
            She tentavily reached up and wiped her hand down the right side of her face. In her state, she hadn't noticed as her adversary's severed blade, on the upswing when she had cut it, had cut a gash from the corner of her eye strait across the temple to the top of her ear. She shocked her Wookie companion by bringing her blood-covered hand to her mouth and licking her fingers clean. The maniacal glint showing briefly in her eye, alerting Lowie that something was not quite right in her head.  
  
            Zekk, who had taken his time coming out of hiding, came through the portal with an unconscious Tekli over his shoulder. He had just missed Tahiri's last action and noticed her wiping her hand on her jumpsuit. "Hey, let's get this hunk of rock ready to fly."  
  
            Tahiri nodded and sprinted up the ramp.  
  
            Lowie growled at Zekk as the former Dark Jedi moved to follow Tahiri. He understood and slowed to listen.  
  
            I'm worried about her. He rumbled.  
  
            "You should be more worried about..."  
  
            Lowie growled an interruption, We know where Jaina's heading, not Tahiri though. She seems in control, but...detached, split, and confused.   
  
            "Well you keep an eye on her and let the others know." He finished as they reached the control center. From the sounds behind them, the others were close behind them.  
  
            Jaina's voice confirmed this with, "Get this rock moving." As the footfalls signified they were on the ramp, Tahiri jammed the repulsive cognition hood on her head. She noted that Lowie looked ready to protest as Jaina and Alema entered the bridge, Anakin's body in tow.  
  
            "Good, Tahiri maneuver to cause some damage." Jaina ordered as she went to another hood and donned it. "How does this work T?"  
  
            "You need to put your hands into the gloves next to you as well, they are the fire controls, the hood is just the targeting system." she informed. As she finished, a muffled clunk came from somewhere. "Sith spit, the shuttle just informed me that it has been recalled."  
  
            "Override it!"  
  
            "Trying." Tahiri gritted out. Memories came that she once believed were fading. To find out that the cursed shaper's meddling was still present came as a blow to her.  
  
            In her mind she was waging a two-fronted battle. The implanted memories pushed at her to return home. Ignoring them and overriding the auto-recall on the ship tired her. She managed though, "I think I've convinced it not to return."  
  
            This came just as a frigate came into view on the hull of the worldship. "Well I suppose we should m..."  
  
            "Yes!" Jaina cut her off, "Let's see if we can take this thing down." Referring to the frigate, parked wide open for all to see.  
  
            "Yes, ma'am." Tahiri needlessly stated. The gleam in her eye going unnoticed by all save Lowie.  
  
            With Jaina flying and Tahiri shooting, the frigate would have been slag in mere moments. Their positions reversed, with both inexperienced at their stations, caused the first two passes to be less than satisfactory.  
  
            "Pass again T." Jaina commanded just after a plasma charge skimmed them. She had failed to notice that the hit had been hard enough to jar the blonde from her post.  
  
            "Tahiri's out Jaina," Zekk stated as he slid the hood into place on his head. The assault shuttle immediately began to buck and dive.  
  
            "Just get us leveled out Zekk." She gritted out. That was all she had time to say before there was a sudden impact that ripped her from the chair. __'Jacen…' was her last thought before the starry darkness before her eyes became a black hole that swallowed her.  
  
~ . ~ . ~ .  
  
            Pain greeted her upon her return to the living. Pain so intense it shattered the remnants of her peaceful dream and scattered it to the far corners of her mind. All that remained now was pain. Stinging pain of several minor lacerations. A complete ache that signified a body that was bruised from head to foot. Another, marrow-deep ache that signified a fracture in her arm. Lastly, there was that black hole vortex that resided in her heart and soul.  
  
            The coughing wheeze that came out should have been a laugh. The most painful wound she had would never fully heal.  
  
            She cracked her eyes. It took a painfully long time to focus. Twice as long for her to locate whom she was looking for and nearly double that to crawl to the body. As she got there, Alema, Lowbacca, and Zekk regained coherent thought.  
  
            She attempted to alert them, but it hurt too much. 'Anakin would never..' The mere thought of her name brought a deep stab of grief. 'Nothing could hurt worse than that.' she thought as she hoisted herself on her broken arm. Tahiri's scream tore through the mangled shuttle. The last sound she heard before blacking out again was the slurping and tearing of tissue as her broken bone popped through her skin._


	4. Prelude: 1: Ashes on the Wind

  
  
            The only light she saw tonight was that which ringed the high flat stone that the body was placed on. Her eye were glued to the unmoving husk on the stone. Tears would not come though. She was done showing that kind of weakness. Instead she would show strength, such that the woman standing just behind her would be able to draw from it.  
  
            The events leading to this were all a blur to Tahiri. She could remember the searing pain she felt at the ghostly kiss she'd received. There was a gap there between that moment and leaving to retrieve the subject of her stare. Then another gap between flying the assault shuttle and being here now. The more she tried to recall, the more it slipped away from her like the smoke from the torches into the night.  
  
            She was broken from her attempted reverie by a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's time to begin." came the nearly inaudible whisper. With that she took a steadying breath and stepped into the ring of light, "Anakin ..." The rest of her words were lost to her. She knew that she said them, but they did not register. Her mind was too busy reliving the events she spoke of to notice.  
  
            The pain. Anytime she attempted to remember herself it came, acidic and directly on her nerves. The sheer relief when she saw him. The great fear when she realized that it wasn't her in control but the brainwashing. Her gasping relief at regaining control in time to avoid decapitating him. Their take off and subsequent crash. Her admission to him that she would willingly die with him. Finally making it to a real ship and getting out of there. Then her mind skipped back. She remembered exactly what he'd said to her. 'I love you.' It seemed to whisper on the wind and surround her as she finished speaking.  
  
            Leia noted the stricken look that crossed Tahiri's features and placed a hand on the young woman's shoulder. The raw pain that greeted Leia's gaze brought a surge of sympathy out.  
  
            The look on his mother's face steadied her. It said, 'I understand.' A sad but grateful smile crossed Tahiri's face. She stepped back into the shadows and continued her reverie with a steadying hand on her shoulder.  
  
            She closed her eyes as the sight of the next speaker. It was painful enough to see him on the bier, but to have a living facsimile before her. That was pure torture. She stayed that way. Listening to voices come and go. When Kyp's voice faded, she opened her eyes.  
  
            Master Skywalker stood there with a torch. He had asked her if she would like to do the deed. She remembered shaking her head and gave a quiet reply, "As his Master it really falls to you. I would be honored don't get me wrong, but everyone here believes that we were just good friends."  
  
            As he lowered the torch, his reply floated to the surface. "Some of us know Tahiri. Some of us know."  
  
            A wistful smile crossed her features. What he was doing now was a symbol of letting go. She was not quiet ready for that yet.  
  
            The flames towered into the night. The occasional popping and cracking sending showers of sparks free into the night air. Her mind wandered as she watched the soothing flames lick higher. The dancing waves of heat reminded her of her desert home. She lost track of time while her thoughts wandered.  
  
            The whole time she was reminiscing she heard the phrase that had saved her. She got to the one moment that they had had together about the time Master Skywalker stepped up to the rest of the family. He met her eyes.  
  
            Lost in thought as she was she mistook him for Anakin. "If only I'd realized..." She did not realize that she had whispered those words that she was but a hairs breath away from kissing him. but then two things happened, Leia's hand gripped her shoulder a little tighter and Luke said, "Realized what, Tahiri?"  
  
            A credit to her training and the partially integrated Yuuzhan Vong memories, she did not flinch or blink. Just pulled back calmly and allowed her eyes to refocus. "Just lost in thought Master."  
  
            "You didn't answer my question Tahiri."  
  
            A faint tremble entered her voice. "Ask me again sometime." She turned on her heel and walked back to the refugee camp. Behind her the wind picked up. It did not disturb the ashes.  
  
~ . ~ . ~  
  
            It was dark here. darker than she could remember it ever having been before. Inky black and as thick as molasses. She waded her way through it, toward a tiny pinpoint of light in the distance. She stopped to catch her breath and it was still several hundred meters off.  
  
            That's when she heard the whispers. "Riina where are you? Come back please. NO! You can't have her, she is ours."  
  
            The young woman's heart lurched at the pure desperation in the voice. The flood of painful memories. She was stolen from her parents, taken by infidels at such a young age that she had all but forgotten the sound of her mother's voice...Her father denying the right of the intruders.  
  
            "Don't listen Tahiri, the voices tell half-truths." Anew voice put in, one that caused a soul wrenching that set her trembling. The light grew nearer to her. "Love, please. For the sake of things to come, you must try to heal your mind."  
  
            She collapsed to her knees. The pain became too intense. "NOOO! I...you ...we...funeral." she stammered as she clutched the sides of her head in an effort to close out HIS voice. "You're not real!"  
  
            The hands that touched her were soothing as they helped her to her feet. "I will not lie to you, in a way you are right." The apparition pulled her into a close embrace. "But if we were anywhere but here I wouldn't be able to this." He tilted her head up and proceeded to kiss her.  
  
            She broke off gasping. Not so much from lack of air but at the stinging vortex this action created deep inside. Her eyes turned to glittering chips of jade. "Don't ever do that again." her voice dripped acid.  
  
            "There is pain either way you go. But which ever way you decide, you will come out of it stronger." The image frowned, "There isn't much time left for us this night. I have something I need to show you." He held out his hand.  
  
            She took it carefully and for the first time noticed that the general vicinity was recognizable. It was the Great Temple. The cold stone felt good under her feet. The inevitable question came, "Why are we here, Anakin?"  
  
            He didn't answer. Instead he just kept walking, then he reached the top step and sat resting his elbows on his knees. "Mainly because this is where we spent most of our time together." he shrugged his shoulders and shifted to rest his chin upon his hands. The light on the horizon began to shift and bend. "You might as well take a seat, this will take a minute."  
  
            She settled next to him, watching the picture begin to form. It was ...her? It had to be it looked too human for a Yuuzhan Vong, the scar on the forehead matched her and the fact that she carried a light saber.  
  
            "What's..."  
  
            "Watch." was all he said to her.  
  
            The scene that unfolded turned her blood to ice. Oh yes it was her, but just everything was so wrong. Her voice was soft and menacing. Her eyes screamed mad darkness. She screamed denial, "That's not me, its Riina!"  
  
            "Ahh, but they are one and the same 'Ri," Came the soft and unnecessary reply as the vision continued on.  
  
            She was chasing someone. It was a Jedi. They were in some cobbled together station. "That's the ..." she started but paused as the vision of herself caught up to the youngster.  
  
            'The last...' Riina began. Tahiri didn't her another word though, the young man in the vision turned to meet the saber coming at him his blue eyes flashing with stubborn determination. Blue. The same color as Anakin's, as Master Skywalker's...Ben. It was the only person in existence that it could be.  
  
            Tahiri pulled in a shocked breath and turned her bright green gaze on Anakin. He was gone.  
  
~ . ~ . ~  
  
            She woke up without a sound. The vision slipping to the far corners of her mind and trampled into a figment of her imagination by a part of her locked behind durasteel walls. She slipped out of bed. Ever so carefully and quietly she dressed and padded on bare feet out to the cramped living quarters.  
  
            Her path took her to the last place most of the Jedi would go to, Anakin's pyre. She slipped onto the stone carefully. She pulled a bottle out of her pocket. Little by little, she put some of his ashes inside. When the bottle was near full, she capped and sealed it. Then she slid off the rock.  
  
            The stars glittered. She raised her eyes to them and blew a kiss. " That's yours, my love, where ever you are." She turned on her heel and headed back to the refugee camp. The wind picked up. It blew the ashes up in a whirling eddie. They gained more and more height, eventually separating into smaller and smaller particles. When the dust reached the clouds in the upper atmosphere, it settled.  
  
            The next morning it rained.


	5. Prelude: 2: Off the Deep End

  
  
            Tahiri's eyes snapped open. She blinked at the ceiling trying to focus on where she was, not where the vision had put her. Ever since 'talking' with Anakin, she'd been having nightmares about what might happen. She heaved a sigh and sat up. 'Better that he had never shown me that. I have an odd feeling that I saw more than he originally did though.' She thought as she made her self-presentable.  
  
            As she clipped her saber to her belt, the door to her quarters opened. Leia stood there watching her finish dressing.  
  
            Tahiri turned. "You could have commed me."  
  
            "I wanted to talk to you." Leia stated as she crossed the room. She held a small object in her hand. A brief pained look came to her face. "This used to be Anakin's room, but that isn't what I've come to say."  
  
            She held out the object and thumbed it on. With a few quick inputs the scrambled picture focused. It was a holo of the Solo family. One she hadn't seen since the day Anakin shut it off and took it when he left the Academy. It had changed some since then. Recently it appeared. He had added Ben to the large group of faces. Tahiri looked to Leia. "You brought this because?" She half questioned.  
  
            "Because of this." She manipulated another button and the group holo changed. It was Anakin and her, it looked as if they were skydiving. Tahiri knew better. He had pieced this one together from a memory. In this case, it was when they were holding hands using the force to slow their decent in a turbo shaft. She looked to Leia totally speechless. "That's not all." Leia tapped the button again. The group holo returned. This time Tahiri's face was among the bunch. Not as it had been before her captivity, but at it was now, with the domain scar prominent on her forehead. The smile on her lips as bright as Tatooine at high noon. Leia put the puzzle cube into Tahiri's hand. "This truly belongs to you."  
  
            "I couldn't possibly keep it. It-" she started as she tried to hand it back. When Leia didn't take it she set it on the dressing table.  
  
            "Tahiri, you are family in all but name." She reached into a her pocket. "He would have made it official if he'd made it back. I just wanted you to know that even though that will never happen, you will always have a place with us." She pulled her hand back out, in it was a ring. "He gave this to Luke before you all left, Luke gave it to me before we left Hapes. I give it to you now to reiterate what I just said, you are my daughter-in-law even though it can never be made official."  
  
            Tahiri felt Leia close her shocked fingers around the thick metal band. She looked up. There were tears in both their eyes. They wrapped each other with a fierce hug and cried. The other her cringed back in disgust. This was weakness. A warrior did not cry. 'This woman deserves to die for making me cry.' Tahiri's spine stiffened at the thought. She pulled away and flung her saber handle at the door. "You had better go." She gritted out.  
  
            "What's wrong?"  
  
            A dry laugh came from her lips. "I lied to the psyche droids. The conditioning hasn't gone away, it's just given me a second personality that I sometimes have trouble keeping in check. And right now it has a death mark on you."  
  
            "Let it try. Tahiri you are too strong for that to happen. Why are you so worried about it?"  
  
            The blonde heaved a sigh and turned to gray-streaked brown haired woman. "Anakin came to me in a dream." She sat hard on her bunk. Leia sat next to her. "He showed me the reason why he came to rescue me in the first place. The only thing is that it did not stop where his had. I now have a nightmare whenever I sleep in which I am killing the last Jedi in existence." She paused for a breath and Leia cut in.  
  
            "Well it could be assumed that it may have happened..."  
  
            Tahiri placed a hand over Leia's mouth to silence her next words. "You don't understand quite yet. The thought that I am killing the last of the Jedi doesn't really bother me." Leia's eyes widened at this statement. "It's the fact that the person I am fighting is Ben."  
  
            She lowered her hand and Leia started in. "How can you be so sure of the identity of the person? Most visions are not that precise."  
  
            "It's the eyes. There are only two others with those ice-blue eyes. One's dead and the other way to old to be the young man in the vision." Her hands slapped to her thighs as she stood. "I just do not trust myself, what if I turn?"  
  
            "You won't." Leia said with conviction. She rose and put her arm around the girl's shoulder. "If you ever doubt that, all you will have to do is look at that," She pointed at the laser puzzle, "and remember we're here for you."  
  
            Her statement was punctuated by the sound of the comm. crackling. "Better get up here sweetheart, were going to be coming out of hyperspace soon."  
  
            "Be there soon fly boy." With that they left the room. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  


  
            If only I could be so lucky. But life is a cruel taskmaster, just when things start to look up he punches you in the gut. Then he sits back and sees how long it takes you to catch your breath. She thought to herself as she strapped herself in. Well here we are, about an hour out of Bakura and I still haven't caught mine.  
  
            She felt the ship shudder with reversion to real space and for a moment so did she. Her eyes became unfocused, staring at the droid across form her with contempt. In a chillingly sweet tone she stated simply in Yuuzhan Vong, "Your days are numbered, abomination. "  
  
            C-3PO looked at Tahiri. "Mistress Tahiri? That certainly doesn't sound like you."  
  
            Leia came in before Tahiri could answer though. "3PO get back to the cargo bay. Now." She said when it looked as if he were going to question her. With his exit Tahiri visibly changed, the tenseness went out of her and her eyes reverted to normal. Leia looked at her. "What was that all about?"  
  
            Tahiri just looked at her with pain in her eyes. "I . . . just lock me in my room. I can't do this any more." She stressed gesturing absently with one hand around her while rising. "I can not be trusted. I'm too close to the edge."  
  
            Leia's eyebrows drew together as she frowned deeply. "But.."  
  
            "NO! You don't understand. I don't think there is anyone that could; this has nothing to do with Anakin. Well mostly nothing to do with him. It's more all me. Those sessions in the tank. They did more to me than anyone really knows. If just sitting here with 3-PO brings that out of me, then I really do not need to be left where I may be able to do harm. Just do it and don't look back." Her speech over she practically ran back to her bunk. Leia followed her silently.  
  
            "Tahiri."  
  
            "Do it and GO!" The teen yelled at her.  
  
            Hearing the door hiss shut ant the sound of the electronic lock cycling, she put her face in the pillow and cried. Truly cried for the first time since before Anakin died. She cried so long and hard that she fell into an exhausted slumber without realizing it.


	6. Prelude: 3: Family Ties

            On the other side of the Galaxy.  
  
            The ship hummed merrily on it's way through hyperspace. That did not phase one of its occupants though. He was too lost in thought to even care. In his hand was a piece of flimsy. On it, the text only version of a letter from one of his most dear friends. As he thought about the words and their implications his hand clenched into a fist. Crumpling the flimsy into a tiny ball.  
  
            He sagged onto his bunk. _'So this is how it is to be with us. You chose and acted for what you thought was best and now I have to pay for the consequences of one night of indiscretion for the rest of my life.' He thought as he laid down. _'Not the best news that I've ever gotten before bedtime, but . . .' _his thoughts trailed off as he drifted into a troubled slumber.  
  
            It was rather bright here and dry and windy. They had taken shelter in the shade cast by a rusted out AT-AT. It was him, his brother, and all the others from the mission. He glanced around once more. "Wait a minute, where's Tahiri?" He asked no one in particular.  
  
                His brother answered. "She should be coming over that dune any time now." They both stood. Just after they got to their feet, she crested the hill. It looked as if she were running from something. "It's no good. She'll never put enough distance between her and it." As if on queue, another figure crested the dune, wrapping its arms around Tahiri's shoulders. They could make out her lips moving.  
  
                The man looked at his brother in realization. "It's you; she's calling for you."  
  
                "You know I can not answer. She refuses my aid." With that he fell to the ground panting. "I haven't enough time to play around. You need to help her Jasa. Of all the people in the galaxy, you are the only one who could possibly understand what she's going through."  
  
                "Anakin I couldn't."  
  
                His blue eyes flashed. "You can and will bro." A cloud of black bugs flashed overhead. "She is cracking apart. If you need to know what an insane Jedi can do, I suggest that you speak to Uncle Luke. It will happen to her, quite needlessly I might add, if you do not render aid." He collapsed flat to the ground. "Please." He faded from view.  
  
                The entire scene faded from view ever so slowly, to complete darkness. In the center of this darkness was a multi-colored light. It contained every color of the rainbow and then some in an awe-inspiring technicolor swirl. He did not have to ask what this amazing sight was. He already knew. Just as he already knew whom the figure was near the base.  
  
                He walked closer. "What?"  
  
                "No time to explain bro." He was sifting through the darkness at his feet. "I know it's here somewhere." He paused, scrutinizing the ground harder. "Ah, here it is." He reached down and touched a finger to something on the ground. Turning quickly he placed the finger on the older man's lips. "This is what she's missing, it's her…", a wind suddenly picked up roaring loud enough to drowned out his next words.  
  
            He woke up with a start. His legs tangled in the covers. A sticky film of sweat coated him. His lips were buzzing as if he had just been kissed. But the worst thing was that he had a splitting headache to go with the heartache given to him by the letter that was now laying on the floor, crumpled into a tiny ball.  
  
            The beeping of the comm. added to the pounding in his head. He reached to the nightstand a flipped a switch. "Here." He croaked through dry lips.  
  
            "Hey sleepy, you going to come relieve me up here or what?"  
  
            He glanced at the chrono and groaned. "Sorry Aunt Mara, can you give me ten minutes to clean up?"  
  
            "Sure. You had a rough night?"  
  
            He thought back to the letter and the first part of the dream. "You could say that."  
  
  
_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  


  
            Back on the 'Falcon...  
  
            They had finished their mission at Bakura and decided to take a detour. Tahiri had been slipping more and more since the first leg of their journey. There hadn't been any surprises waiting for them here, but Jag and Jaina had stopped by one day while they managed to both have some time planet-side. When Tahiri had caught sight of an ornament that Jag had been wearing she had gone crazy.  
  
            Jaina shook her head. Since then they had kept her sedated and restrained to the bed. The latter because she had been trying to mutilate herself and the former after she had broken free of one of the restraints. She looked down and smoothed back a stray strand of the blonde girl's hair. A silent tear made it's way down her face. "We've lost too many already, we can't lose you to T." She whispered.  
  
            She went and sat at the end of the girl's bed. Her mother and herself had been taking turns keeping watch on Tahiri. Mainly because they were the only one that really knew the girl. Not to mention the fact that many thought that she should be launched into space with out a vacsuit for what she had done to Jaina that last psychotic episode she had.  
  
            Jaina shuddered at that memory. Tahiri had turned ferocious. The girl's blade sprung to her hand ignited and she had lunged for Jag. Jaina had did the only thing she could, threw her closest body part between Jag as she her own violet blade to bear. She rubbed her arm in at the thought. "Good thing that I had started by deflecting some of the blow with the force, or I wouldn't have an arm right now," she murmured to herself. The fight went on for quite some time before Tahiri had collapsed.  
  
            Jaina had not once hit the girl. Deflecting blows only. But that did not get her away unscathed, she had been put into a bacta tank due to several wounds that she had considered minor. There were many between the two squadrons that resented that, Jag included, and believed that the girl needed to be brought to justice.  
  
            Jaina sighed in disgust and pulled her mind from those memories. She needed someone to talk to. Someone with perspective. She reached within slowly and found that person. He was at the controls of the 'Shadow.  
  
            _"Jasa, we need to talk."  
  
            She felt him give a tired smile. "Do we really have the time?"  
  
            "I know I do," she caught a small sense of loss from him, "what's wrong?"  
  
            "Nothing. I just...it's Tahiri isn't it?" He purposely redirected.  
  
            "Yes." There was a wealth of sadness in that one word, "she's leaving us."  
  
            "What happened?" _

            _"She flipped out. We fought until she collapsed. That was two days ago. We've been keeping her restrained and sedated since yesterday."  
  
            She didn't have to say anymore Jacen locked on to the sequence of events in her mind for the full story. "So you're heading for us. Why not take her back to Cighal?"  
  
            "You know that answer as well as I do."  
  
            He 'sent' her some coordinates. "We'll be in this sector in three days. It will take us several days to map it."  
  
            "We'll meet you there."  
  
            Her eyes snapped back open. He had broken contact to avoid her questions on what was bothering him. She shook her head. "Typical," she muttered.  
  
            The door hissed open and Leia came in. Jag close behind her. "Go get some rest, Jaina." She watched the young lovers leave. Then she went to the door and cycled the lock._


	7. Prelude: 4: Welcomes

                The days passed uneventfully.  Much to Jaina's pleasant surprise.  Now, sitting here in one of the bays of the _Pride of Selonia _waiting for the _'Shadow _to dock, she was getting restless.  There was absolutely nothing to do around here.  

                She had seen Jag off about an hour ago.  That was fast turning out to be the highlight of the day.  They had exchanges a few hushed endearments, in low enough tones so that the others did not hear.  Then they embraced briefly.  Making it look as if it were just two good friends exchanging goodbyes while one went on an extended mission.

                'Missions, I'd rather be out there with dad and Jag.'  She thought to herself.  But she was also resigned to the fact that she was also needed here.  Her mom couldn't be everywhere at once and Tahiri needed to be watched.  The sedative they had given her had to be discontinued several days earlier.  The girl was docile most of the time.  Whenever Jaina entered the room to take a turn at guard, Tahiri turned to face the wall.  It was as if the blonde were too ashamed to face her.

                Jaina heaved a sigh.  A pinpoint of light presented itself outside.  A voice in the control center came overhead.  "Incoming, ten minutes out.  Prepare to clear bay for depressurization."  She reluctantly removed herself to the control center.  'At least some good will come of this.'  She thought as the lift doors closed behind her.

~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~              ~

                White ceiling.  White walls.  White floor.  Tahiri was just getting ready to shift her focus to the white blanket that covered her when the door opened.  Not that it bothered her, just the opposite in fact, it delighted her that someone else was coming to visit for a change.  She smiled warmly as Tekli entered.

                "Hi.  I …"  Her smile melted when she saw the man behind the healer.  Her eyes turned into chlorinated  ice and she hissed.  "Keep him away.  Don't let him touch me."  Then she just screamed at the man.  "Get out.  I don't need your help!"  She pressed herself into the corner at the head of the bed.  Then she curled into a ball to sob.

                Tekli turned to Jacen.  "Perhaps you should come by later," the Chadra-fan murmured to him, "like when she's asleep."  She added more quietly.

                Jacen just simply nodded and stepped backward from the door letting it close in his face.

                "What was that all about?"  Jaina inquired.

                Jacen gave her a strained smile.  "I can only speculate but I think she might be seeing something of Anakin about me."

                "Please Jasa, he's gone and there is nothing that you or I can do to change that."

                "We both know that, but I fear that is something she is not ready to accept.  It's driving her to the edge of madness…"

                "No need to lecture me on that one bro."  She tapped her temple.  "I was there remember?"

                He finally turned to face Jaina.  Noticing for the first time that she was not in the sleeveless shirts that she used to prefer for freedom of movement.  "Jaya, I … what happened to you?"

                She gave a slightly bitter smile.  "You were already "shown" bro.  It's not like you to need a reminder.  But there was something else troubling you that night, must have been enough to knock screws loose.  Want to talk about it now?"  she finally asked.

                He gave her a long look.  "I…"he began, but was interrupted by the doors to Tahiri's room opening.  Tekli stepped out and allowed the doors to close before she spoke.

                "She's now as she was when everything originally happened.  There is just something that she is missing.  I can't place it."  She paused to breath.  "She's sleeping now, if you'd like to see her that is."

                Jacen said nothing, but nodded his head .  Jaina looked from Tekli to Jacen.  "Judging from her reaction to you  I'd say you need an escort in there…"

                "But it won't be you, Jaina you need rest. Go to bed now.  Healer's orders."   Tekli said before Jaina could protest.  "I'll keep an eye on them."

                The skeptical look on Jaina face was evident.  A testament to how tired she truly was.  Without another word to either of the rooms occupants, she left.  Just before exiting the antechamber of the room she sent to Jacen, _"Saved from sharing again Jasa, but we will take up our conversation later."  _

                He heaved a sigh.  "You have impeccable timing Tekli."

                "You aren't ready to talk of your problems yet, I sensed your distress.  When you're ready you'll share."  She shrugged her shoulders.  "I just hope you're right about this.  If it doesn't help I want to take her back to Master Cighal, she is more capable than I."

                "She wouldn't have sent you if she weren't confident of your abilities."

                "Thank you, but enough wasting time.  She won't be out long, you're wasting time."

                He gave her a nod of appreciation  before entering the treatment room.  As with many of it's type, it was all white.  She lay there in a light blue gown covered to her waist with a white blanket.  As he moved closer he noted that she seemed to tense a little and she was sweating slightly.   She was fighting the trance that Tekli had placed her in.

                He heaved a sigh and closed the distance between them.  'It's now or never.'   He thought as he closed the scant distance.  His hands went to her temples as son as he sat on the edge of the bed.  With a great mental push, he reinforced Tekli's trance and pushed his way into her dreams.


	8. Prelude: 5: Personalities

                She knew he was there.  She could sense him flitting about the edges of her consciousness.  Trying to get in.  _"Go away!" she screamed.  _"I won't let you do this."__

_                "__Won't let who do what?"  her other self hissed into her ear.  _"He's just trying to help."__

_                "Help what?  To kill me.  You and An…he are already doing a bang up job of that."_

_                "If you are weak that is what will happen, but we know better."  The other-self said as she turned and supplicated herself.  The moment between that and the feel of claws sinking into her shoulder was so brief that she stifled a gasp._

_"So I have finally caught you.  Running never got it anywhere did it Riina?"_

_                She gritted her teeth against the pain.  "That is not my name."_

_"It is but one of many you have collected .  You just  choose the one that is right for the moment."_

_                        "What?"_

_                A hissing laugh issued forth from the creatures mouth.  It's putrid breath caused her to gag.  That movement making it's claws dig deeper into her shoulder.   The twisted version of her peeked up and gave her a wicked grin.  __"Just give up…"_

_"Enough of this."  A new voice entered the conversation.  However, this one saw what was really going on.    She stood there talking with Anakin.  Refusing to acknowledge the fact he was gone and that she was more than the little girl that was taken to the temple from Tatooine.  _

_                He approached to the surprised look of the one on her knees.  __"Get up Tahiri.  This has got to stop.  You can't keep yourself in separate sections of your life without breaking."_

_            As he finished, that which was Anakin smiled and began to disappear.    He noted that her unscarred self sighed in relief.  Then collapsed to her knees as the version of Tahiri that he had come to know screamed, __"Come back!!"_

_"Even if he could, I wouldn't let him.  He's gone.  Accept it."_

_"I can't."  She whispered.  _"He was the only one who loved me enough to come for me.  He could have helped me back from …"__

_                "Give it up weakling," the perfect one hissed, "it was his meddling that got me like this in the first place.  You just couldn't leave well enough alone."  This last was to Jacen as he came ever closer._

_"Anakin asked me to help.  He said she had lost something."_

_            A snigger came from the flawless blonde.  "You could say that.  Though, if you have it to give back to her, it might help.  I know that at least then we could come to terms.  It escapes me how you will get her to accept it."_

_"I have an idea.  But I do have one question that I'd like answered."_

_            "Shoot."_

_            "What is it that she's missing?"_

_            A wistful smile came across her features as she looked as the sobbing version of herself.  "It is a mixture of many things.  Love, strength, happiness, hope, but mostly it's"  she paused leaning in rather close to his ear and breathed the last into his ear, "faith."  Then she brushed her lips on his cheek and faded.  Leaving his body fairly thrumming for no reason._

_                He took two steps in the ashy sand and kneeled.  There he reached down and pulled the Tahiri he knew into his lap.  Letting the young woman shed her tears onto his shoulder, he looked over the barren mind-scape she had created herself.  Off in the distance, the wind whipped a furious storm across the desert.  He stared there until he felt the first of the hiccups that accompany a good cry start to abate._

_                He lifted her head from his shoulder gently.  __"Will you come with me?  There is something that I need to show you."_

_            The barest nod of her head was all the assent that she gave.  He wasted no time.  _

_                The surroundings changed with such an abruptness that it caused a sense a vertigo for Tahiri.  She felt a steadying hand on her shoulder.  A voice soon followed.  "__It should pass shortly.  I forgot that you aren't used to being in another's mind."_

_"Where are we?"_

_            "In my mind T."  _

_            She took a quick look around.  They appeared to be in a small apartment.  It had one or two rooms from what she could tell.  It looked as though he spent most of his time in this one. There was a small sleeping pallet in on corner.  A couch positioned between it and a holoprojector.  On the other side of the room she saw a miniscule kitchenette with a door on each side.  He stood in front of the one on the right._

_"There is a holo over there that I want you to watch.  I'd ask that you be patient and see it through, I'll explain the rest later.  Jaya's going to get very nosy once you start watching it."_

_            She nodded and he slipped through the door.  She put the holo in and sat on the couch.  It shocked her briefly that she was actually watching one of his memories.  _'What is he doing?' she thought as she leaned forward and reached up to touch the projection.  The instant her hand passed into it she found herself actually experiencing the things he had.


	9. Prelude: 6: Secrets

                Much of it blurred by.  Light.  Darkness.  The pure white agony of the Embrace.  Seed in and seed out.  Learning the easy lessons the hard way and the harder ones in worse ways.  It wasn't until events brought him home that the pace of life slowed enough for him to put things in a coherent line.  

_                The nice vacation from it all. The lazy days spent swimming the reefs on Mon Calamari.  His brief and surprising interludes with Danni.  The many sent missives to Tenel Ka.  Wishing her well and letting slop the love for her.  Tahiri witnessed this all and went on the swoop ride of emotions that went with it._

_                The real surprise came with the exquisite detail in one specific memory.  It was the night of the Knighting ceremony.  There was a feeling of being kicked in the gut when he saw Tenel Ka again.  She was dazzling him in her dress.  Her diadem caught and reflected the light thousands of times over causing her face to be shadowed rainbow from his view point.  She took his breath away and his heart ached with the love it held for her._

_                He was slightly hurt when he couldn't find her right after the exit, but consoled himself with the fact that he would see her at the reception later.  Unfortunately for him he had trouble getting to her, she was keeping company with the politicians and council members.  He resigned himself to the fact that she would be tied up with them most of the night.  Upon that realization he attached himself to a wall, waiting and watching for her exit._

_                After a brief interlude with Jaina, he saw his chance.  He bid those he was with good night and followed her out.  "Tenel wait…"_

_                She turned on him eyes flashing.  "You will address me appropriately, Knight Solo.  Protocol may have been breakable before but now it is not."_

_                The hurt was brief.  The confusion lasted a while longer.  Just long enough that the Hapan Queen Mother made her retreat.  As she turned a corner, he came to and asked himself _'What was that about?'_  Then he took off after her intending to get some answers._

_                When he buzzed her quarters, he fully expected that she would answer the door.  Surprise registered when a man did instead.  "Her highness wishes me to inform any who come here that she is not receiving visitors."  Jacen just looked down his nose at the shorter man and pushed past him._

_                "You must leave."_

_                He sensed Tenel's brief probe.  On his end he got a hurried feeling from her.  Then her voice rang out.  "It is alright, Vecsu."  She came to the door of her room.  A bag in her hand.  "Take this to the ship.  You are not needed here at the moment."_

_                "But it is improper for…"_

_                Her eyes narrowed at the man.  "You would do well to remember exactly who is in charge.  You will go. "  Her tone softened slightly.  "He is a Jedi Knight.  There is no question to his honor or mine for that matter.  Are we clear?"_

_                He bowed his head slightly and backed out of the of the entryway with the bag.  She turned back into her room.  Jacen followed even more confused now._

_                "Your highness, what was that about?"_

_                She put her hands on her dresser and squared her shoulders.  Turning her head to look at him over her shoulder she said, "Don't Jacen.  Not in here where I know it is safe to speak freely."_

_                "What is going on?"_

_                She opened a drawer and continued to pack.  "You know as well as I do that walls tend to have ears in public places.  For you to address me in the familiar in public would insinuate that we are more to each other than we are."_

_                He was taken aback at her statement.  There was also a brief stab of pain.  "The fact remains that we are."_

_                Her deep breath shuddered out of her lungs.  Then she turned to face him.  "I know.  Nobody else can though.  It would compromise the tenuous peace that I have managed to eke out in the cluster."  She moved loser to him.  _

_                He backed away.  He was trying to get his bearings.  Tenel had never in her life shown this much emotion.  The last time he'd seen her she was going to but Vergere never gave her the chance.  When he surfaced from that memory he found himself backed against the bunk.  She was pressed against him._

_                "I wanted you to know before I went home, exactly how much I have and will miss you."  With that she pushed him down and pinned him beneath her.  His pulse was pounding in his ears as her head descended.  Everything swirled into sensations, her lips on his with bruising force.  Her teeth scraping along his jawbone, down his neck to his collarbone._

_                He vaguely felt his shirt leaving his waistband.  Her hands quickly dispelled the notion that he should stop her.  They felt wonderful gliding over his chest, down his ribs and back to his waist.  Trailing still lower._

_                His eyes snapped open and his gasp was caught by her lips as her hand cupped him._

_                It was at this point that Tahiri detached herself from the emotion and just watched.  The absolute beauty of the moment was not lost on her.  It was the coming together of two halves.  Not something to be intruded upon.  Yet there was a reason Jacen was allowing her to see this.  It finished rather abruptly and Tahiri found herself back on the couch in front of the holo._

_                She did not look to him when he re-entered the room.  "What was that about?"  She asked rather harshly._

_                "So you'll better understand this."  A letter fluttered to her lap.  "Go on and read it.  Then you tell me who's got more hurt in the galaxy."_

_                It was rather strange.  As she read she heard his mental voice as he read it and Tenel's as she wrote it._

_Jedi Knight Jacen Solo,_

_It is my duty to inform you that by demand of the masses, you are no longer allowed in Hapan space.  Further more your family is but they are not allowed to land on any of the sixty-three worlds. _

_                                    This decree came into being as it has com into light that the Queen Mother is in a                           condition that may be of some concern to those in the Jedi community.  Shortly after Her                             taking of a consort she became with child, her consort voiced some concern over the relationships she                                 had outside of the consortium.  It has been cleared up, but he, fearing retribution for the lies he                             spread, asked the Queen Mother to protect him.  In order to keep the peace she assented._

_                                    Any other Jedi shall be welcomed with open arms and helping hands.  It is not them                                     he fears.  _

_                                                                                                Long Live the Galactic Alliance,_

_                                                                                                Tenel Ka_

_                                                                                                Queen Mother_

_                                                                                                Hapes Consortium_

_                        Jacen,_

_                                    My hope is that whoever breaks the code on this letter will see the formality of it and go                                     no further.  In case you had not figured it out yet, Vecsu is my consort.  He made aspirations                        on my virtue. After we got back to the cluster.  He told the absolute truth of course, but I                                couldn't let them think that I had already abused the power that I have._

_I made him believe the unborn are his.  He apologized immediately.  Then he forced my hand.  Keep your eyes peeled though, his fear that you will defy the edict is great.  I feat that he will send bounty hunters after you.  _

_                                    Enough about my sniveling other, I need to let you know my reasons for not telling                            you then.  First is that I was being greedy.  I wanted something of you to keep with me.  I                          couldn't stand the thought of being so far apart.  Which brings me to point two, My duties here                           are such that we will never have time for each other.  No need to elaborate there._

_                                    As if those were not damning enough, I felt the need to protect you.  My days would                         be even more agonizing if I were to worry about who's out to get you next.  That would be                             unacceptable.  My apologies for the pain I now put you through.  But live well knowing that                                    your progeny will be well protected by their mother._

_                                                                                                            My Love Eternally,_

_                                                                                                            Tenel_

_Tahiri looked up tears in her eyes.  "Jacen I…"_

_            "Don't Tahiri.  Shed no tears for me.  My choice was made for me while I was gone.  Yours basically for you."  She gave him a quizzical look.  "You still resent the fact that Anakin kept sending you away from him during the mission.  It wasn't because he thought you were an incompetent child.  It was more for the fact that he knew that he'd be completely ineffective if he lost you."_

_            Tahiri was totally speechless at this revelation.  She had never though of it that way.  She had been so stubborn and irritated at her love it never occurred to her that he was trying to protect her.  She reached over and hugged Jacen.  "Thank you."  She whispered as she brushed his lips with a chaste butterfly kiss.  Then she was out of his consciousness.  _

His lips were buzzing and heart pounding_.  He opened his eyes and found himself in the same position he occupied before he started the journey.  Sitting lightly on the edge of her bunk.  His hands on her temples. The only difference between then and now was that she had a contented smile on her face._


	10. Prelude: 7: Blessed Wholeness

                Tahiri sighed and rolled over.  She did not want to wake up.  But there was an insistent voice humming in her ear.  "Tahiri wake up.  It is past time you ate something."

                She rolled over and groaned at the intruder.  "Tekli did anyone ever tell you that you are a tyrant when it comes to patient care?"

                "I'm sure there have been one or two."  She smiled.  "But none who have really earned the right such as you."

                She playfully threw the pillow at the Chadra-fan.  The ensuing war was abruptly halted when a throat was cleared in the door.  "Am I interrupting your breakfast?"

                The two young woman burst into peals of laughter as Luke walked into the room.  "Master Skywalker," Tahiri gasped between giggles, "to what do I owe this honor?"

                "Just curious to see how well you're doing."

                "Other than starving and slightly sore.  Not bad."

                She caught his eyebrow shooting up at her comment about being sore.  That made her wonder one thing.  "Just how long was Jacen in here with me?"

                Tekli did not hesitate.  "Three days Tahiri.  He came out of here much less tired than he should have been though."

                Tahiri laughed.  Brilliant and clear.   It felt so good to be back to normal again.  A tear slipped from the outer corner of her eye as she gasped for air.  Then she looked at the Jedi Master.  "He did what he came to do and that was it.  It took so long because I needed some convincing."

                "I'll say," interjected a new voice, "I spent most of that time attempting to get through your shields."

                "Well it could be said that you were headed where you were not wanted."  Joined the female counterpoint as she poked her brother in the ribs.

                Tahiri saw Jaina.  She began to stammer, "Jaina, I…I'm sorry.  I…"

                Jaina waved her hand in dismissal.  "I don't require your apology T.  It was Jag's head you attempted to remove from it's shoulders."

                The blonde lowered her head in shame.  There was nothing she could say that would mend that  tear.  But she would make the attempt.  "Where is he?"

                "He is still not allowed within a hundred meters of this medical suite."  Tekli put in.  "And none of you should be here right now either.  She will be up and about before the end of the day.  But only briefly and just to go to her quarters.  You may visit with her there."

                The three Jedi knew better than to try the healer's patience and left the area.  Tekli pulled the try over to Tahiri.  Then she headed to the door.

                "Thank you."

                The Chadra-fan merely bowed her head and exited the room.


	11. Beginnings: Chapter 1: Denials

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 1: Denials

_I have received no more than one or two letters that were worth the postage. _

_-Henry David Thoreau_

He sat in the dark holding HER letter again. He and Tahiri had talked about the whole thing already. It's why she had recovered so quickly. He had shown her that there were people in much more pain than her. At least she had the comfort that she was going to be united with Anakin when she passed into the Force.

He had no such comfort. His soulmate was still alive. She was also in charge of the biggest political viper's nest in the Galaxy, The Hapes Star Cluster. He understood Tenel's point of view on the situation. But in his opinion, the Jedi fearing people under her rule needed to get over themselves. Their leader was a Jedi and there was a strong chance that any of her progeny would have the potential to be trained.

Jacen pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as his entry chime sounded. He knew who it was already. "Come in Tahiri."

"Hey where's the surprise if you always do that?" She joked with him. It was more of a bit of running humor between them now. There wasn't a Jedi that didn't scan visitors with the force since the war.

She noted the creased flimsiplast that he held in his hand. "Not that old thing again. Geeze you torture yourself way too much with the past. How long has it been now?" Her green eyes hardened with a slight bit of anger.

"Five... no six years today." He turned his back. They both knew he wasn't referring to the end of the war either.

"And you still haven't gotten up the nerve to challenge her decree?" She came up behind him and began to rub his shoulders.

He turned and gave her an imploring look. "I must respect her wishes." He left the political points out of it this time. They both knew those too well. As the new head of the Council, Jacen couldn't very well do much to straiten out his love life. The Council was recognized as a part of the republic; more often than not considered just one step over from the Defense Force. With Jaina's involvement with them, and his mother's former involvement with the government proper, his hands were completely tied.

"You could always take a leave of absence." Came a familiar voice from the door.

"But they would see through that like the ploy it truly is Uncle Luke, and you know it." He discreetly backed away from the blonde woman.

"Still you could do it and they would have no ground to stand on."

"Or he could always just sneak in... like you so often do Master Skywalker." Tahiri put in for good measure. She had turned as she said it, arms akimbo, apparently irritated by the interruption.

"I never sneak Tahiri. I just know when it pays to be quiet." He watched as her eyes narrowed at the perceived insult then he continued. "Actually I came to get the both of you. Ben wants his time with you now Master Solo. I also have some pressing business to discuss with you Tahiri."

It was then that the rather impatient child darted from behind his father. "Gee dad, I could have sent Tahiri to see you. It's not like I can't go nowhere alone." Irritation was etched in every inch of the child's bearing.

"The way you're acting right now says that you may have trouble with that one." Jacen admonished his younger cousin. "Now apologize and show proper respect when you do."

The youth pursed his lips. It wasn't as if they were in public. Tahiri was practically family anyway. But the stern look from both his father and his Master made him quickly regret his outburst of temper. "I do beg pardon for my rude behavior Knight Veila, and to you father. I spoke before I thought a mistake that can cause great repercussions if I am in the wrong company."

Both the men looked pleased with the apology, but Tahiri was rather peeved. "Thank you, Ben. But I think we both agree that it was unnecessary and that your Master needs to pull his light saber handle out of his rear." With that she headed out of Jacen's quarters, Ben was somewhat surprised that she would say that to his cousin. Luke waited to chuckle until he was out of earshot of the boys.

It took little time for the elder Jedi to catch up with Tahiri. He came along side her and got down to business. "Tahiri I've received a communiqué from a former student of mine. She expressed interest in having a small committee of Jedi come to test some children. In specific, she requested that you be sent on the team."

Tahiri narrowed her eyes as she let the implications set in. Then she closed them and took a deep breath. Once she had cleared her conflicting emotions she reopened the clear green orbs. "I would ask why she did not just send the matter before the council, but that would be a bit obvious wouldn't it?"

Luke smiled at how quickly Tahiri caught on. It always made him miss his nephew Anakin. It amazed him how similar the pair had been. "Right in one."

"Who am I going with, besides Condra, and when do we leave?"

"Well, Condra won't be going with you for one, and two I'm going to discuss with Jacen about having someone else take over her one on one training." One look silenced her when she opened her mouth to protest. "The only stipulation that she made was that you have your trainee reassigned so you would be free to take another. As for the others, Zekk and Trenio will be going and that is the team. You will be leaving as soon as the next transport can be arranged."

"I will go prepare then, Master." She bowed her head in respect and headed off.

She wanted to argue the point about sending males on the trip. The Cluster was known to be a matriarchal society. The only thing the men were in charge of was the fighting. Even then they needed the absolute approval of the Queen Mother. Not a great place to be taking a man. Even if he were friends with the ruler and especially not when that person was a good friend to said ruler's ex-sweetheart.

"Did I do it right?" Ben asked again. He had noted that his cousin hadn't really been paying much attention this afternoon. He'd been doing the same form for hours and not gotten any feedback. So this time, when Jacen signaled him to begin again, he threw a piece of melon at the zoned out Master.

When it hit his cousin in the face and slid in a slimy, sticky trail down the man's face, Ben knew something was really bugging the older man.

The red-blonde boy walked over and sat by Jacen. "Hey cuz, what's botherin'' ya?" He asked while placing a hand on his shoulder. The actual human contact jolted Jacen out of his funk.

"You're still too young to understand." He stated.

He pulled his hand away. "You guys always say that. But I'm thinking that it has to do with that discussion me and dad walked in on. I say go for it. Take the leave and then disappear for a while. Then you drop in unexpectedly on her. 'Nuff said."

"It's not that simple."

"It is and we both know it. Even if it doesn't work at least you made an effort to get there. Shoot you'll even learn something if you don't."

"What's that?"

A smile lit across Ben's face. "Exactly how determined the Queen Mother is to make sure you don't end up like Anakin." With that he got back up to practice the form, noting that now his Master was paying attention to him. He might be gape mouthed in shock, but he was definitely paying attention.


	12. Beginnings: Chapter 2: Things Not So Sec...

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 2: Things Not So Secret

It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

–_Abraham Lincoln_

Tahiri paced the floor in her room. Sleep eluded her this cycle. There was something wrong aboard but she was having trouble pinpointing it. The odd sense had only been with them since the last star port the passenger vessel had been at. The ship had taken on supplies but no new passengers. Yet it still seemed that there was a new presence aboard.

She paused in her pacing to look out the view port. Not much out there but the mottled blue of hyperspace. Still she found it kind of comforting. "Ugh, maybe I'm just over reacting. This is going to be a little intense once we arrive." She said to the darkness. She trudged over to her bunk. 'Might as well push myself to sleep. What ever this elusive bit is it will eventually come to light.'

Zekk turned as the shadow approached. "What are you doing here?"

"Just figured I'd get something to eat," came the almost flip reply.

"You have hardly changed." Zekk told the figure as it seeming melted from the wall.

"More than you know my friend." Jacen said as he turned he chair and sat.

"Haven't we all. But you are avoiding the answer. You know very well that I meant what are you doing on this ship. You are not allowed in Hapan space, remember?"

A half smile graced his lips for only a second. "All too well. But this is more to test her resolve. If I make it onto planet, well…" The serving droid came over to take his order and left.

"Be that as it may. If she senses you, this ship is as good as space dust."

"She wouldn't do that."

"I know that. Her consort however."

"Please, I don't think he'd risk an incident on that scale. Nor her wrath."

Zekk gave him a skeptical look. "Right, and he is not a part of the anti-Jedi movement in the cluster. You seem to forget that he wouldn't have to do the deed himself."

His soup arrived and he sipped it before going on. "No I'm just counting on the fact that if they take any action against this vessel, it may very well cause another war that no one is ready to face."

Coruscant

"He did what?" Jaina said with quiet menace.

Jag just handed her the cup of stim tea he had made for her. "He took a leave of absence from the new council."

She shook her head as she accepted the tea. "He has always been the rational one of us two, but this is completely…" She lowered her head to inhale the fragrance of the tea.

"You say that as if you know where he's gone."

"It is not a happenstance that he decided to leave as Tahiri went on a mission to Hapes." At his quizzical look she added, "Please do you think that Aunt Mara wouldn't tell me something like that. We are a little closer than that and with the problems that could arise she wanted me informed."

"Ah yes, wouldn't want the New Republic Defense Force's newest commanding general left in the dark of a possible threat to security." He said as 3-P0 entered the room. Seeing the freshly shined droid reminded him of why he had come in the first place. He smiled and offered her a hand up.

Just then the droid piped in. "Mistress Jaina it is time for the party."

Jaina accepted the hand. Her heart did a little flip flop as Jag brushed her knuckles with a kiss. "We were just headed that way 3-P0, thank you." Then they headed out. General Jaina Solo of the New Republic Defense Force and General Jagged Fel of the Cillan Home Fleet walked arm in arm to the formal party being thrown in her honor.

Hapes

"Mama, mama. They are coming. They are coming." The six year old danced around her mother's quarters.

"This is fact. Now settle down and come here." Tenel admonished. "You'll see them then. Until then you need to settle in where you are staying. They need not know you are the crown princess, is that clear?"

"Yes mama." The child sat to allow her mother to brush her hair. Then she was taken by one of the Queen Mother's attendants to stay with her.


	13. Beginnings: Chapter 3: Surrenders

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 3: Surrenders

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. –Mark Twain

Coruscant

'The entire ceremony had gone off wonderfully.' Jaina thought to herself. The Hutt henna-wood tables had been decorated in midnight blue and silver Saccorian silk. The Firroran figment lights were elegantly shaped in the center of the table. Their rainbow-hued glow dancing merrily off of the Salairian china and Telosian silver. Jag had cut an impressive figure in his Chiss Home Defense Force finery. So had she, in her gleaming white Republic dress uniform, which she had hastily removed after the Honor Guard had retired the colors. She now wore a simple yet elegant dress of russet Corellian cotton; more because it was keeping her cool than the fact it was an absolute beautiful thing, especially on her. It swished quietly as she walked.

"Something wrong sweetheart?" Han asked her as he guided her back to their table.

"No, I had just wanted to dance with Jag, that's all."

Han still heard the disappointment ringing in her voice. "Don't worry, he probably just stepped out for a breath of fresh air. Besides," he seated her and started toward Leia, "he isn't the kind of guy to ditch his date." He gave her a wink and led Leia to the dance floor.

Seconds later she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't jump; she knew it was Jag. "Especially when she looks this stunningly beautiful." She stood to give him a hug. In the instant she turned, a spotlight came on and Jag went to one knee in his black Chiss dress uniform, he hadn't changed like she had. The entire ballroom fell silent. "Jaina Solo, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

She just stood there and blinked. Barely noting that at the foremost edge of the crowd were her parents and most of her former squadron mates. That split second ended and she smiled, pulling him to his feet. She framed his face with her hands and kissed him deeply. "Well duh." She whispered as their lips parted.

He smiled back and kissed her in return. The watching crowd roared in response as he clasped the traditional engagement locket around her neck. Han and Leia gathered each other closer. At least one of their children was about to find a little happiness.

Hapes

Zekk shuddered in relief as they landed at the royal palace. Not only did they not find out that Jacen was aboard the craft, the Hapans hadn't even noticed when the man had jumped ship in late decent. Though how they could have missed a falling object in the atmosphere confused him.

"You're awfully nervous about this Zekk." Tahiri put in fidgeting herself for the view of all the buildings. She may have had her psyche repaired, but she was still uneasy in the presence of all the technology of the republic.

"Could say the same thing for you, but even after all of this time you're still not used to things are you?"

"Can't say for sure that I ever will be Zekk, but I do try." She paused when she saw someone off in the distance. "That would be the welcoming committee. Let's go."

Zekk looked at Trenio. The boy had a questioning look on his face. "What, like it or not young man, she is in charge of this mission."

"Not that master, why didn't you tell her of your visitor?"

"She doesn't need to know. Besides if the Force is with us, he won't be caught." He patted the boy on the shoulder and led him out of the ship.

The sun was still high outside the palace. It backlit the coming entourage making it impossible to tell who was coming. The group of Jedi did not have long to wait to find out the answer though. Apparently there had been something that came up that required Tenel's attention, their suspicions had been confirmed by the Prince in the next minute.

"The Queen Mother sends her regrets at not being able to greet you personally. But something of great importance has come up and she will be detained. Most likely until the beginning of this evenings festivities." Vecsu apologized. He even wondered what it was in the first place. It was odd that she did not say as to why it was she had been held up.

"Tonight will be fine. She has not insulted anyone here." Tahiri stated.

"That is good then, if you do not mind following me, I will show you to your quarters." He turned and led them on without awaiting an answer.

_"He's a little rude, don't you think master?" Trenio sent to Zekk._

_"Yes, well that might have something to do with the fact that he is part of the opposition to us being here."_

_"In other words, 'Watch your back' right?"_

Zekk smiled with the last. The only outward indication that he gave his trainee that he'd pleased the master.

He'd been lost in the gardens for what seemed like forever before he finally was able to sneak his way past all of the guards. The door was just opening when he slipped in unnoticed and opened that one door in his mind that he had locked so tightly. Jacen could tell the moment that she'd sensed his presence. Her spine appeared to straighten, imperceptibly to those around her, but all to noticeable to him.

The moment between her noticing him and her dismissal of her attendants with a wave of her hand and a "Tell them I am sorry for not meeting them, but there is something that I have just remembered that I must take care of." He surveyed the room. It was elegantly appointed. Not at all something that he would of thought she'd have agreed to, but apparently she had an image to uphold. He was so busy contemplating all the silks, jewels, and master crafted artwork in the room to notice the little girl that was ushered out by one of the maids. He wasn't so preoccupied to not notice when she reached over and casually pressed a button.

"You may come out now Master Solo, no one will be able to spy on us now." She turned to stare directly at his position near the door. She looked none too pleased to see him.

The way she said his name told him how pleased she was to see him. She wasn't and he couldn't get through her mental shielding, even through their bond, to see if she were just acting or not. "Tenel I…"

Her eyes narrowed. "That's Queen Mother to you, Master Solo. The Force has blessed you up until this point in your trip. You will leave before I am obligated to call the guards and have you thrown in prison for your transgression."

He was surprised enough that she interrupted him. Let alone the fact that she had just basically stated that she'd like him to stay. If he was reading the way she said obligated properly, he figured that he had a little time. "How long." He lipped at her while moving in the shadows at the edge of the room.

She tilted her head slightly to indicate he should stop moving. "This is a terrible breach of protocol. The wishes of the Hapan government were clear on the matter of you and your family entering this system. You jeopardize the relationship between our two great civilizations with your presence here." Somewhere during her little speech the door cracked open.

"Are you in need of assistance, your Highness?" came the voice of one of the guards.

"No I am fine." All the unspoken things were apparent to all. Tenel had scrambled the "security" devices planted in the main chamber of the room. Someone thought that she was up to something and was keeping extra eyes on her. "That will be all, Laris."

As soon as the doors closed, she turned to him. "We haven't long love. My private quarters are directly behind you. They haven't managed to bug those, yet…"

He smiled in relief that she had just been putting up a front. He slipped through the door. He noted that this room seemed much more Tenel's taste. Simply furnished and decorated with colors that was easy on the eyes.

She unscrambled the various listening devices and cameras. Then she followed him into the private room.

"She had barely closed the door before he was next to her. She collapsed with relief into his arms. "You have no idea the amount of maneuvering I have to do daily. I am just relieved that you were not detected."

"What do you think that I am going to be caught, please." She silenced him with her finger gently placed across his lips.

"Jacen, we can't. It isn't fair to either of us. Plus I am a married woman. I'm already taking enough heat by just allowing Tahiri and Zekk on world. If I were to compromise my position any more in Vecsu's eyes he'd have me brought up on charges so quickly…"

It was his turn to silence her. He did so with a kiss. It started off as a mere brushing of his lips against hers. That was enough to cause the breath to catch in her throat. The second sweep buckled her knees. When he finally crushed his lips against hers, most of her careful shielding broke and he was flooded with all the emotions he had missed over the past six years.

He was overwhelmed at first. Then slowly he sorted through the joy and pain and revulsion and so much else. There was something else there and as soon as he neared it she pulled it back into hiding. Too slow to stop him from getting inkling, but fast enough to protect an identity.

She regained her ability to stand when she realized what she had almost revealed to him. Not that it stopped his coming insight. But it would protect the identity of their daughter a little longer.

"Why didn't you just come out and tell me?" He asked as he sank to his knees.

"I did Jacen, did you not receive my letter?"

"Yes but…"

"No but's, you just did not read into it as I had intended. This is another thing that Vecsu can not find out about."

His look of resigned acceptance pained her. "Can I see her?"

"No." He'd known the answer before he asked but felt like it he needed to ask anyway. There was a little more that she wasn't saying. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was though.

When he finally looked up to meet her eyes, his look was one of muted anger. "You **let** me get here and you're telling me that I can not see my child. It's bad enough that I can't even tell my family the news, but to go through the rest of my life with never having contact with her."

She held back a small snigger. He didn't realize how much he looked like a subject begging for mercy right then. Or maybe he did, she steeled her gaze. "I'll admit, Jacen, I let you this far for my own selfish reasons. I had to see you again. Not from afar, not when I'm on business, I had to see you up close and in person," she reached down and hauled him to his feet, "so that I could touch you." She cupped his cheek with her hand. "The longer I am here the more the past slips from me. I had to be certain that you were real once more." Then she kissed him lightly. Turning, she stepped away.

Before she got one step away he grabbed her in a fierce hug. "How can you lose the past?" The question didn't seem silly to him until he said it. He knew first had what it was to lose everything that you ever were. His time in enemy hands during the war did that to him.

Her sad smile could be seen in the simple mirror on the wall opposite them. "I had hoped that taking charge here would be simple. That proved to be the worst assumption that I had ever made. There are those that are so suspicious of Jedi that in the first week of my reign there had been at least two attempts on my life per day. I've had to change in ways that are…difficult to adjust to. There are many days when I wonder if the light has been totally ripped from this system or if it begins to shy form me for my actions." She turned and looked into his eyes. The sadness that shone in them was a physical blow to him. "Our daughter brought a small piece of the brightness we had back to me."

He pulled her close then. Resting her red curls on his shoulder, he held her while she cried. His independent warrior woman had just admitted something that he'd never thought possible. She was afraid.

And so he stood there and held her until she silenced the pain. When she finally looked up at him, he wiped away the remnants of her tears. This time when he kissed her, he felt her surrender to him.


	14. Beginnings: Chapter 4: Parties

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 4: Parties

It's a brave man who, when things are at their darkest, can kick back and party!

**Dennis Quaid, "Inner Space"**

The dining hall was a hideous display of extravagance, Tahiri had decided. Elaborately carved tables were draped with claret silk and tipa chiffon, upon them sat plates of polished Hapan gemstones, garna platinum flatware, and cloud crystal glasses. All items were from the system itself, a not so subtle display of the fact that the Hapes Cluster had no need of the New Republic.

She was biding her time until Tenel arrived. The insufferable man that the Queen Mother had opted to make her consort was incessantly chattering in Tahiri's ear. She'd long since tuned him out. Especially after the first disparaging remark that he had made about Force users in general. Oh, he hadn't thought that she'd caught it, not with the way he so carefully hidden it within praise and many other pretty words, but she had picked up on it. One slip up and he'd have the whole lot of them imprisoned, including the Queen Mother, for treason.

The doors cracked open and Tahiri sighed in relief. Tenel strode through dressed in a simple but elegant emerald green dress. That struck Tahiri as odd but then the Dathomiri had to change many things when she'd become the ruler of the Hapes Cluster. Though it took her a minute to figure it out, Tahiri also noticed the slight flush that was in the monarch's cheeks. That caused her to guide the repugnant man at her side to a position that he couldn't really see the Queen until she was properly seated at the table where the light didn't really allow for the observation of Tenel's other than normal state.

"…And so we now know where the fear of the Jedi came from here." Vecsu finished rather lamely while seating Tahiri expertly to the Queen's left at the high table. He then proceeded to take his seat to her right. Zekk and Trenio had taken up seats next to Tahiri. The governors and other officials that decided to join the group were sitting in the remaining seats at the high table.

Tahiri finished the perusal of the room and was able to give Zekk that 'we need to talk' look before Tenel tapped her glass for everyone's attention. "Ladies and Lords of the Consortium," the Queen Mother began, "thank you all for attending. I know that many of you here support the thought of sending the children that have ability to be trained. For many of you I know that the decision comes after much tough deliberation and self-searching. It is for this great new beginning that we hold this great banquet and to welcome our guests of honor, Jedi Knight Tahiri Veila, Jedi Knight Zekk, and Knight Apprentice Trenio Cetada."

There was a brief round of glass tapping. This itself was pretty subdued and subsided the instant that the first of the servants entered with food. It made Tahiri wonder exactly how many of these people present were actually in favor of the Queen Mother's plans.

Coruscant

Jaina set her shoes on the coffee table of her apartment. She had taken them off on the ride back so she could curl up next to Jag more comfortably. Even now, as she sat down on her sofa, she was still a bit giddy. Though she might blame some of the dizzy sensation on the champagne she had, more of it came from the fact that the man who had her heart had finally proposed to her. That and the fact that he was able to keep it secret from her.

She smiled over at him as he came in the door. "You are the most wonderful man in the galaxy Jagged Fel." She remarked as she stood. They met each other halfway across the room.

They hugged for a scant moment. Jag's hands caressed up the sides of her body to rest at her cheeks. He stared into her brandy colored eyes. Then he lowered his lips to hers.

It began tenderly. A mere brushing of his lips against hers that she could do nothing about with his hands framing her face. He followed her cheekbone from the corner of her mouth. Making a full circle around her lovely face. It made her tremble with anticipation.

All of the sudden, she realized that her arms were still circled around his waist. So she began to untuck his shirt and run her hands along his smooth back. At her touch he shuddered and brought his lips back to hers.

"Chirrup…chirrup…" The sound of the comm-suite signaling an incoming message would have went unnoticed if it weren't for the urgent light blinking as well.

"I'll get that." Jag offered. He winked and left a disheveled Jaina to catch her breath. He hadn't waved her over so she figured it was something that he could handle. Besides she wouldn't want to be facing anyone right now with as disheveled as she assumed she looked. She wandered into the kitchen to make some caf.

He came in minutes later a mixed look on his handsome face. One that told her that he'd like to finish what they started and at the same time that he was sorry that he couldn't. "That was Cilla. They need me to come home. There is trouble brewing on the borders of the Unknown Regions."

She tried to think of something to say, but everything she had was inappropriate. Except for one. "Don't hesitate to call for assistance should the need arise."

He knew that she didn't mean that as an insult, so he choked down the inbred reply that he'd grown up with on Cilla. He also noted that she had left out a couple of words, meaning that she'd come herself if it was ruled that the Galactic Alliance should remain out of whatever trouble was brewing. He smiled warmly at her. "Don't do anything to get yourself in trouble, General."

"Who me?" she batted her eyelashes in innocent play but then turned deadly serious. "Just be careful Jag. Now get going before I lock the door and change the codes so you can't leave."

Hapes

Dinner was over and now was the time for the children to be ushered in. Jacen looked on from a shadowed balcony. Careful not to draw any attention to himself, he looked the potentials over. Trying to pick out his daughter.

Tenel had known that Jacen would not leave without a chance at glimpsing his child. That is why she'd had her servant take her for disguising. It was good enough that if Tenel hadn't seen the brief look a certain raven-haired child had given her, she would have never known herself. The only thing that remained the same was her startling blue eyes. They were Skywalker blue if ever she had to describe it. There were no other's known with quite that color of eyes.

She held her breath as she had the children introduced. When she reached Malia she breathed a small sigh of relief. "I am Malia Eterra, this is my daughter Aris. I wish for her to be trained."

Tahiri repeated herself for the fifth time. "That is all well and good Mistress Eterra, but does your daughter wish it?" She questioned staring long and hard at the girl. The others had all given some indication of being wary of the famous but disfigured Jedi. This young one didn't so much as blink at the intimidating stare.

Aris just squared her shoulders and returned the look before answering. "Yes I wish for you to train me."

Tahiri did not miss the slight stress on you that the little one had used. _So you're whom I'm here for. _She thought as she said aloud. "It is not up to me who trains you. That is for the council to decide." To the room she then stated, "These five have made their choice. You have been told the conditions of their tenure. Enjoy yourselves now, we will be leaving in the morning." With that she bid the ballroom good night and pretended to return to the ship. Zekk and Trenio would have to usher the new younglings there in a little while, she had a queen to talk to in private.

Tenel remained at the function for an acceptable amount of time after Tahiri had left. The woman had seemed so cold and near rude. But Tenel understood why, she had asked specifically for Tahiri to be the one to come here. She did not want another to train her daughter. Except for Jacen, but that was out of the question as Vecsu had already stated that he would personally see to his rivals destruction if he ever came near a member of his family.

She entered her chambers and closed the door behind her. She was all of two steps from the door when she heard a faint tap on the marble behind her. "Tahiri, how nice of you to announce yourself." She knew full well that this was probably the one Jedi that could get close enough to kill her. That was the main reason that she wished for Tahiri to train the princess. "Jacen wasn't as considerate."

"That explains it." The twenty-three year old whispered.

"Explains what?" The queen mother asked her visitor.

Tahiri rolled her eyes as she got out of her crouched position whispering, "The reason I've been so edgy. He's here. He's trying to find…"

"Yes," Tenel interrupted her voice slipping back into an almost court like stateliness, "He snuck in here and back out again. But that is not the reason you are here is it Little Sister."

Tahiri snapped strait to attention at that knick name. She hadn't been called that since the end of the war. Not since Jaina had packed her things and left the new temple for her post with the Defense Fleet. Only those close to her would call her that, so why did Tenel… Tahiri caught her meaning and switched the topic. "Your pardon Queen Mother, he shall be dealt with later. I wish to know, why me?"

"Mostly because of your unique make up Knight Veila. You proved that you are more than capable of sneaking past the guards without the aid of the Force. I wish you to teach her that as well as how to best use her power to keep from ending up like mother." A sad look passed through her eyes, but she quickly sobered. "I wish only the best of teachers for my daughter. You are one. Could you tell?"

The Jedi knew that the Queen Mother asked not of her skills but of which of the girls in the hall had been the Crown Princess. "Yes, Tenel. Her eyes hold her secret. It will take time for the others to realize it though. Just one question, why the disguise?"

"It is better that the galaxy believe that she is just another child of the Cluster. Vecsu and I decided this together." She wasn't going to say that it was the only way that she could get her dandy of a husband to agree to sending "his" child. "She is yours now. Take care of her." The young leader of the Hapes Cluster hugged her friend.

"I will." The choked up Jedi Knight managed around the lump in her throat.


	15. Beginnings: Chapter 5: Destiny's Conspir

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 5: Destiny's Conspiracy

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -_Sydney J. Harris_

Hapes

Zekk and Trenio had gotten the children settled on the ship by the time Tahiri had returned. She went immediately to find Zekk. She found him in the galley handing the princess a bowl. She tapped his shoulder. _"We need to talk." _She sent to him.

He helped the child to a chair then motioned to the hallway. "Let's find someplace a little more private." He suggested. They walked down the hall toward the bridge. There was a small meeting room off to one side that they entered.

"Why didn't you tell me he was here?" She asked there was a hint of heat to her voice.

Zekk just shrugged his shoulders. "It didn't seem important."

"Not important. This could still blow into a galactic incident. She wasn't thinking clearly and let it slip that he had visited." She saw his eyes widen in understanding. "There is nothing we can do about that now, do you know if he got back on yet?"

"No."

"Looks like I'll have to do this the hard way…"

Chiss Space

The pilot brought the transport out of hyperspace. "There she is." He said to no one. He was looking at the planet on the view screen. It was a brown rocky place that looked like it should be devoid of life. But it wasn't and he knew it. For the first time in weeks he felt like he'd come home. The euphoric feeling he got as his mind merged with those on the planet let him know that he'd been away too long.

"Reversion in five seconds Admiral." Came the voice of the Ops technition to his right. That did not please Jag very well. It let him know that his time to gather his thoughts had ended and now he had to be serious.

"Thank you Chi'panri'lrilth." He stated blandly. He really hadn't wanted to leave his fiance but duty was duty. It just happened to be the worst possible situation that they could be in. Being in two separate systems, two different sets of rules. But he would see what he could do about that once he found out what was so important that they called him back from a "diplomatic" vacation.

They never saw the ships coming. The battle cruiser was suddenly swarmed by hundreds of tiny black wedges. By the time the claw craft were scrambled, it was too late for the Destil'amrra'Imtep. The ship was no more than a burning husk.

Coruscant

Jaina woke in a cold sweat. Something wasn't right. She scanned the apartment but found nothing amiss. Then she felt down those mental pathways connecting her to her family. Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara were half the world away sleeping contentedly. Ben was up but not into any trouble, yet. Dad and Mom had long since fell asleep. And Jacen, she was glad she wasn't him right now.

So what was it that had woke her so suddenly? Then it hit her like a one ton duracrete block. Jag. Something had happened to him. She was out of bed instantly and over to the comm.

Hapes

Jacen had just made it inside the ramp before he felt it. There was something here that did not belong. It was after someone. The presence was small so he figured that no one else had picked up on it yet. Had just begun to trace its whereabouts when Tahiri stepped into his path.

"Of all the irrisponseable, bantha-brained things to do Jacen Solo." She started. Then she noted that he was tuning her out. She stopped to figure out what he was so intent on as he took off running. She didn't know what it was he sensed but she followed.

He skidded to a halt in front of the door to Aris' room. Just as she drew breath to ask him what it was she heard his voice in her mind. _"Listen."_

She closed her eyes and did so. Listening with Force enhanced hearing. There was the calm breathing of the sleeping child. The subtle ticking of the hull plating as it was cooled in space, Zekk had launched. It was a sound slightly softer than that which she heard. Carefully kept in time with the cooling plates to further hide it. "Whatever it is it is in the vents." She whispered for no reason.

She keyed the override for the lock. Jacen was through the door in an instant, Sabre ignited. All Tahiri saw was a boiling blue-black mass that was instantly vaporized as it exited the vent. Not a single one escaped Jacen's blade. She smiled wistfully. It was times like these that he reminded her of Anakin.

He heard her quiet sigh as he deactivated his lightsaber. "What is it Tahiri?" He asked as he turned.

The eyes of the child on the bed caught her attention. "Nothing Master Solo. Aris you go back to sleep now, there's nothing wrong." She thanked the Force that the girl had her blue eyes hooded again before Jacen had the chance to see them. She ushered the older Jedi out of the child's room. "Do not think that this gets you off the hook for this stunt. Tenel let it slip that you had been there." She stated as they walked toward the galley. "This is the first time that I have seen you act so rashly Jacen. The funny thing is that I don't even want to know the why behind it. I just hope that this does not come back to haunt the Order."

"It won't." he assured her. "At least not this time." He mumbled as they entered the galley and started getting food. He still had this niggling feeling that he'd be breaking Tenel's decree at least once more. But he'd cross that bridge when he got to it.


	16. Beginnings: Chapter 6: Turmoil

Bondmates and Soulmates

Chapter 6: Turmoil

That was what, ultimately, war did to you. It was not the physical dangers--the mines at sea, the bombs from the air, the crisp ping of a rifle bullet as you drove over a desert track. No, it was the spiritual danger of learning how much easier life was if you ceased to think. -_Agatha Christie_

Coruscant

Jaina paced nervously outside the office. She had rushed off to headquarters seconds after getting off the comm. with Jag's mother. The woman had told her what the Home Fleet commander wouldn't. Jag was missing in action and presumed dead. She had even gone on to tell Jaina that all those who had disappeared this far were presumed dead. The alternative was not thought to be pleasant. When Jaina had asked her to elaborate on that, she just shook her head and signed off.

"I've never known you to need to pace a hole in the floor." Came the familiar and welcome voice of her Aunt. "What has you so wound Jaina? We could feel you clear across the planet."

Jaina did something that she hadn't done since she was a little girl. She ran over and hugged Mara as if she were the only stable object in the galaxy. Her ragged whisper went almost unheard. "He's MIA. Presumed dead."

Mara hugged her niece tight. "Hold on to the good times, J. He'll be found." The elder Jedi soothed. Mentally she said, _"Compose yourself, General, the boss man cometh."_

Jaina pulled back from her Aunt with a half-hearted smile. She turned and met the gaze of a man that she hadn't seen in years. "Wedge, didn't you retire?"

"That isn't all it's cracked up to be and the official answer is no. I cannot allow you to take leave knowing that you'll end up searching for Fel." But he gave he that look that said I know you'll do it anyway so don't get caught.

It was then that she did the unexpected. "Then I quit." She shot over her shoulder as she exited his office.

He sat across from Tahiri now in the mess. He had long since tuned out her ranting about his lack of responsibility. Jacen ran the curiosity of exactly who would have sent a swarm of beetle like creatures after the child they were carrying. Catching the blonde in a lull he suddenly asked. "Just who is the child we are carrying Tahiri?"

When she stopped to take a deep breath, he knew he'd hit a nervous subject. "SheistheonethatMasterSkywalersentmehereformynewapprentice."

"What about Condra?" he asked knowing full well that his Uncle had been up to secretive sidebars with some of the older council members. None of who would tell him what was going on.

She didn't meet his eyes. "She was assigned another Master."

"What makes this child so important that she would need to have a specific Master?" He challenged, knowing already where this was headed.

Tahiri's eyes narrowed, she picked up on his suspicions. "Not like you need me to confirm what you already believe." She lowered her voice to a heated whisper at the end. It was then that she pulled the small device from under the table. Placing it atop she looked pointedly at him. "We had better make sure all the luggage is stowed properly before we revert."

Ben sat with the selected data pad in front of him. He did not care for the history lesson in front of him, but his parents deemed it a necessary piece of his curriculum. The colored histories of his Grandfather held no appeal to him. _The man is karking dead, let him rest._

It was at that moment that Ben felt it. Like the fluttering of a moth's wing, there and gone. He shivered unconsciously. _The darkness is coming for me._


End file.
